Recently, I joined another group that shall remain nameless, and now I’m considering leaving this group also! It focuses on hand stitching on fabric, a passion of mine. It is stitching for 15 to 30 minutes a day to relax without any plan.
November 12, 2019
Not long ago, I left a New Mexico Recipe food group that was suppose to focus on New Mexican recipes instead it focused on arguing as to what recipes were authentically New Mexican! And, not only that they constantly criticized that Californians did not know how to cook, that our dishes lacked flavor and essentially that California food did not measure up to New Mexican food! Well this was highly offensive to me, because I know how to cook and enjoy it.
I know enough about Mexican food and food history to realize that New Mexican cuisine is distinctive; specifically in the chilies they use and the ever so famous Hatch Chile, Indian fried bread, sopapillas, Green Chile stew (which is similar, but different to Chile verde) fried puffy tacos, and the stacked enchiladas with a fried egg on top.
But, I also know and saw more similarities than differences and many of the same foods I was raised on in California being called New Mexican!
Such as some of what I call “soul food;” these are by no means considered gourmet meals, on the contrary, soul food to me is more like poor people food, down home cooking, or food that is eaten on a daily basis. Dishes that feed large families with not a lot of money. Such as fried potatoes with hamburger meat or weinies, pozole, menudo, cocido, huevos rancheros, carnitas, chilaquiles, sopas, chorizo con huevo, beans, rice, tostadas, tacos, burritos, arroz con leche, etc.
Excuse me Gente, but most of these dishes originated in Mexico and we have copied or modified to meet our needs throughout the Southwest. With the exception of frito bowls, I’ll never figure that one out. Although, Mi Corazon says it’s good, maybe one day I’ll succumb.
I finally gave up trying to defend and educate and left the group. I wanted to see food, recipes and cooking not a bunch of angry people arguing defending their position.
The true beauty of the process is that there is no right or wrong way to do this. You do not worry about making ‘art’ while you are in this process. You allow your intuition to guide your design. Let your heart speak with needle and thread. It is not overthinking and it
does not have to become anything. I thought this was a liberating/no need to think exercise…not a “learn how to” system. I like that it takes us away from that idea of perfection and out of our comfort zones of things having to be completed. The beauty of mindful stitching is that we can just do what we feel like with no boundaries and allow our minds to relax and sometimes empty.
This group was to be about fun and relaxation
I think it either needs to be something that comes from within – no formal learning or it is something else -learning. I have trouble with it being both simultaneously.
I have thoroughly enjoyed viewing others art and being inspired by so many creative women.
Well this weekend a woman posted a “Eff the Patriarchy” ( fully written out) I have cleaned it up for my post, stitched on a piece of fabric. With sideways lines depicting a flag and stitches in red and blue with a white background.
This bothered me immensely, why? because this group offered and allowed some time away from the “madness of the world, ”
to see beauty; in flowers, landscapes and birds.
I didn’t have to deal with news, politics, sexual content, cussing or anything negative.
I commented that I was offended by this, for the above reasons. I researched the rules and there really aren’t any. It states, if something causes you discord just keep scrolling.
While many women were in agreement with my sentiments. Many women supported Ms.
Eff the Patriarchy, they felt that this was her vehicle of releasing anger or stress.
Ms. Eff the Patriarchy stated she had been upset after watching a Peruvian beauty pageant where the women addressed the number of women raped, abused and killed in their country!
One women even stated that after her divorce she was very angry and her therapist encouraged her to say the “eff” word to release her anger. Because for too long women have held their voices inside for fear of offending people.
Another women said that we should all be more tolerant and use stitching as a healing process.
Another woman stated we should act more like men and use violence.
Another woman supported it also by saying that stitching wasn’t just about stitching puppies and flowers, but that now it was about conveying a message and that “eff the Patriarchy” was using this as her way of expressing her emotions.
Another woman stated she was offended by flowers and puppies and we should focus on issues affecting women!
And, yet another young woman stated we were all screwed (she used the eff word) if we did not stick together as women!
This is crazy!
Now it’s become political, politics are never a relaxing topic, tell me how I can continue stitching?
Well that about did it for me. I think it may be time to leave this group! This truly saddens me as I enjoyed stitching flowers and landscapes.
I am NOT a follower, I never have been and never will be! I have a mind and I use it. All the time I’m thinking I’d like to stitch a machine gun! Ha ha! I am not promoting violence, but all this hypocrisy gets me boiling! Why did you go ruin such a beautiful thing.
I trip out with All of this, why? Because this group is mainly “white women” Americans, Australian and women from the Uk. And, perhaps have this “trying to rescue the world mentality.” Most from my age group, who have the luxury of sitting around and stitching on fabric. I realize many women do not have this “luxury,” I know Mi Mama never did. I have seen few women of color in this group. And, not that that is really significant, but I have always felt that Anglo women think they are the saviors of the world, they want to rescue everyone, especially people from other countries. Now please do not misconstrue this, I think Americans have done great things in other countries to help the needy. I just can’t help but wonder if “Ms. Eff the Patriarchy” whose anger was triggered by Peruvian women, didn’t realize women are being raped, abused and killed HERE!
Everyone is trying so hard to be politically correct.
Then we have the peacemakers, can’t we all just get along mentality. Which is fine and my preferred mode of operandi.
But, I refuse to stand by….. a bomb has been set off, how do we deal with that? You cannot have stressless political conversation or thought, it’s an oxymoron.
On this same thread I learned of Diana Weymar with her “Tiny Pricks Project” which is in exhibition at Lingua Franca in New York. To Channel Her Frustration She Started Embroidering Donald Trump’s Most
Now, they have also been immortalized in needlework by hundreds of artists. Diana Weymar’s “Tiny Pricks Project,” a community-based, constantly-growing Trump textile protest immortalizing the president’s words in stitching, is now on view in New York.
What is the purpose of Tiny Pricks Project? I’m sure it is money driven!
All of these above experiences only confirm why I dislike groups! I think I’ve come to the realization that the older I get the less BS I can take and perhaps I do not play well with others!
You see at my age I have the right to pick and choose with whom I choose to be, where and when I choose to be and what I choose to be involved in. At one time in my life I didn’t have that choice, but I do now, Thank you Jesus.
I agree everyone has a right to their own thinking and thoughts.
There is a popular idiom in Spanish that’s says, “cada cabeza es un mundo,” which means “every head is their own world!”
I feel I am a reasonable woman, I am not angry nor full of hate. My heart tells me I am not wrong and that this world is upside down right now! If I am, I invite you to please set me straight with facts.
I can think of many “constructive” ways to utilize our energy as women as humans, at convalescent homes, schools, soup kitchens, there are many organizations to volunteer our time and resources. Instead of focusing on stitching “Eff the Patriarchy” or Trump’s outrageous quotes!
Abrazos y Besos
Thank You, Father